Escapril 2019

So, April. The month for a poem every day. Let’s do this.

April 1st. A FRESH START.

A fools day
. . for fools who run
. . and fools who love
and fools who think the world loves back
. . A day for hope and disbelief
. . A day for carnage and mischief
. . . . . To what does this fool owe their misfortune?
and how do we start again?

April 2nd. APRIL SHOWERS.

Dazzle me
. . in glitter, in gold, in sparkling diamonds
. . they that fall from the sky
Drench me in your showers
. . the cold
. . the dark
. . . you will refresh my soul

April 3rd. INCORPORATE MUSIC.

the world hums
it thrums and beats
a heart
caged in by humanity
a chord locked into an orchestra
it might sing if it thought it would be heard
. . . is a lonely heart ever heard?

April 4th. ANXIETY.

the words are stuck in your throat
you can’t speak
you can barely breathe
. . . mind-bending
. . . chest aching
death seems like a short and sweet escape

April 5th. BACK TO NATURE.

a step across to the river
a leap onto a stone
we measure the distance between this place
and the that one we call home

the sky is turning crimson
the grass is bleeding gold
we stare into the sunset
ever strong
courageous
ever bold

it’s not far to go now
a pebble’s throw away
into our hovels of warmth
for the night we will stay

stars glitter into living
on the vast velvet sky
nature is our home now
where the dead go to die

April 6th. NOSTALGIA.

You are a memory
on the tip of my tongue
Your kiss is like the past
present on my lips
You are the light and the dark
The monster, hiding away
The hero, come to save me
. . . We are more than just us
. . . and what our past pretends to mean

April 7th. START WITH A TIME OF DAY.

4:03 am.
It is almost time to be awake again.
The sun is breaking the cloud;
the horizon is splitting itself in half
and yet
Secret and silent, the world is moving
Late-night stays and early-rise days.
Liminal space is where we exist.

April 8th. A LOVE POEM.

Is love the sick feeling in my stomach when I see you
Is love the headache in my heart
Is love hot and cold
and weak and bold
and more complicated than any set of stars
Is it pain
Is it longing
Is it worth it
. . I’m not sure
do I even deserve it?

April 9th. FOCUS ON THE COLOUR.

dark room, dark mind
do you like what you find
red walls, red heart
slowly tearing you apart
blue curtains, blue face
Are you out of breath?
What a shame.

April 10th. FEMININITY.

Femininity is a construct of society
we are who we are
whether we are women or not

April 11th. NOT FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

master says walk
I says sniff
master says leave
I says eat
master says drop it, play ball
I says chew ball
master tells me off
but I loves him anyway

April 12th. SPRING CLEANING.

we are a mess
so we start with what is worst
. . the lack of trust
push it away, under a rug, safe for another day
. . an inability to communicate
find a hoover, wrap it in a bin-liner
. . love not given by parents
it’s in a cupboard with the unused china
one day we might open it and see something we are not expecting
. . a broken mug, an empty heart, and a damaged soul
but today, we spring-clean these issues away

April 13th. CELESTIAL BODIES.

our stars
our bodies
our moons
our minds
we are the velvet glittering sky
we are the nightmare child
the cosmos
the daughter of Ragnarok in the dark
born of battle
born of eternity
born of galaxies far beyond your comprehension
we are dark matter, stuck between dimensional planes
we are the end of the universe as you know it.

April 14th. MAKE IT RHYME.

snowflake kisses
ice-cold wishes
November pours her heart out around us

April 15th. DESCRIBE A SMELL.

like home
spaghetti bolognase, cooking
smoky fire, burning
fresh linen, drying

April 16th. ANY DREAMS.

your mind is filled with purple haze of nightmares
you wait for the dream to end, to truly end
for that dream life to bring to a pleasant conclusion
but all too soon you are awake and wondering what happened previously

what if, life is just that dream
where conclusion does not exist
and we are chasing our tails with a sprint that cannot be more than a half-speed walk

April 17th. BODY (FRIEND OR FOE).

what is body
. . . body of water
. . . body and soul
. . . body-of-me
body is the place you hold your soul until it can be somewhere better

April 18th. A HAPPY PLACE.

dew-drop grass
crystalline skies
enough blue to make an elephant a pair of trousers
enough sunshine to fill a sundae glass
the moors
golden turning orange turning purple turning blue
heather
she rises to the gloam

April 19th. WITHOUT YOUR NAME, WHO ARE YOU.

Who are you
. . are you the you that you think you are
. . are you the you that they think you are
are you that he who says he thinks we are
are you?
. . I am the me that me thinks I am to be

April 20th. LIMINAL SPACE.

between this
and that
there is
. . .
the in between
It rests on the precipice, the door to divinity, the key to a mind
beyond what there is and what there is not
there is only space

April 21st. IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD.

As you know it, it falls
does it know that it’s ending?
do any of them know?
the sky, as it burns red, scarred and fiery
the trees, shivering in the warmth and sudden following cold
natural beauty, burnt up and frozen
we are lost to the ending of nature itself
buried beneath her falling beauty

April 22nd. NOURISHMENT.

fire
. . . it burns
water
. . . it drowns
earth
. . . it continues turning
air
. . . it takes our breath away
They nurture and they destroy our bodies
and the last
the element of spirit
Strongest, wilful, and everlasting
. . it nourishes our soul

April 23rd. WHEN THE PARTY’S OVER.

when the party is over and the lights go dim
you’ll find me waiting in the dark,
glittering stars, melting away into the night.
there is life in her bones and breath in her lungs
she will dance
with me
until we burn out and become atmosphere embers

April 24th. LIAR, LIAR.

I have green skin.
My eyes are golden.
I eat my enemies for breakfast.
I am at my best when I am feeling whole.
I am a great writer.
My heart is full of love.
. . We all tell ourselves lies. Some are more obvious.

April 25th. PICK AN ANIMAL.

The animal is you
. . violent, unrelenting
. . brutal, strong
Hungry for adventure

April 26th. GIRLHOOOD, BOYHOOD.

Is there a way to know who you are going to be
before you grow up?
. . Because maybe I would have changed my mind
Would that have been allowed?

April 27th. THE STATE OF IT ALL.

Do you mean liquid, solid, gas
or the state of affairs
neither is an easy subject
. . . The state is constantly changing
the state of law, the state of language, the state of the state
And the state of these is a mess

April 28th. REFLECTION.

she stares at me, shimmering in her silvery pool
she’s watching for what I will do next, waiting
what is she waiting for?
. . Will she step out of the wall and grab me
wrap her hands around my throat
squeeze the life and light out of me
. . . What is she capable of?

she looks sad
her hair is getting longer
there’s something in her eyes that suggests that life is just a lie
that the inch of glass holding her back would not be enough to detain her
that the sadness is a guise for anger

If she wanted to come for me, she could
and perhaps I would let her

April 29th. MAY FLOWERS.

like dots on a page
pointilism
they grow up, from the dust and the dark and the dewy remains
red
yellow
periwinkle
the start of something new

April 30th. CATHARSIS.

sometimes you need a day
a week, a month, a year
to take time out
to breathe

sometimes you just need to embrace
the cold, the dark, the hurt
to listen to it
to
to
to what?

to feel something, to really feel it
. . and to know it’s okay to hurt